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Secret Diary

An Anthology of Madness

MAD

There is something great about literature. It’s the undeniable confirmation that when you wake up in the morning you can rest assured you’re not alone. That maybe, just maybe, someone out there knows how you feel. You can tell yourself that as many times as you want, but it will never feel real until you read something and you feel like you wrote it yourself. Some books just reach you down under your skin, straight to your bones, and change the person you are in a way that a 1000 people could never do. Because 1000 people are not that one person, and will never be.

“We are anxious human beings, desperately seeking approval because we’ve invested our hope for happiness in things which will inevitably let us down.”

An Anthology of Madness. Of Guilt. Of Pain. Of Grace. Of Love. Of Friendship. Of Faith. Of Compassion. Of every deep intimate human feeling. Of what it’s like to be a Christian in a broken world where everyone is as broken as I am. Of what it’s like to seek for an answer without a question, and have all questions without an answer.

There is no preaching. No self-righteousness. No religion. This is just the tale of a journey like all the journeys of the heroes with a thousand face. It’s the journey of a saint and of a sinner. It’s St. Agustine and Jack Kerouac. It’s the poetry of the Romantics. The honesty and rawness of its words is the most powerful tool in the world. You cannot put it down, because to put it down feels like killing a part of yourself, and when it’s over it feels like a part of yourself has died in the way it dies when a great love becomes a dormant fire.

I feel part of something big, like a revolution. We’ve shared tears and laughter and blood and ideals and the feeling that the world is a little better now we know we are there for one another. Those words of a humble creative and broke(n) man made me feel for the first time what it means to be Brothers and Sisters in Christ. The Church hardly ever managed to do that so far. I think in 40 A.D. we showed up on Sundays for one reason: to celebrate the fact that everything was going to be okay. We should do that more. I’m an introvert and I have a love-hate relationship with charismatic worship, but one thing about it fascinates me greatly, and it’s the sense of celebration, the deep-seated knowledge that everything is going to be ok, because the Spirit of God is walking alongside us. It feels both ancient and new, radical and traditional. That’s what Max Dubinsky’s book feels like.

I wish even non Christians would read it, because it’s the most powerful prose I’ve read that was written in this decade.

I have been blessed with an advanced copy, but now it’s available for everyone to feel. You can buy it on Amazon. 

Quotes and book by Max Andrew Dubinsky.

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